Quora: Giving up on your marriage
Q: Why do so many people get married that don’t take their vows seriously and won’t fight for their marriage to survive?
A: Some get lazy after marriage.
Once the contract is signed, they stop making an effort. No more date nights, no romance, nothing. This makes their partner feel neglected and unloved.
Some expect marriage to be easier than it is.
Those who expect problems to sort themselves out are unprepared for the realities of long term partnerships. They will not fight, but give up thinking that “it’s not supposed to be this hard.”
Some are disappointed with their partners.
They expected their partners to change after marriage, or not to change. Both of which are huge mistakes. You agree to partner with the person “as is”, they are not a “fixer upper.” You are getting a husband or wife, not a house.
These people may wake up one day and realise that their spouse is not the person they thought they were. Usually, when this happens they blame their spouse instead of looking at themselves.
Often we spin fantasies around the beloved, thinking that they are something that they are not. When reality hits, the fantasy ends and the marriage is over.
Some don’t know how to be in a relationship.
People who marry young don’t have a lot of experience with long term commitment. They don’t know how to argue, compromise and make room for the other.
Some just don’t care.
They got married for the wrong reasons. To satisfy an itch, due to pressure from family or society, for economic reason, just to name a few. Their heart was never really in it to begin with.
