Quora: Lovers on separate holidays
Q: Is it okay for my husband to go on a long trip alone?
A: That depends.
- Will he be able to survive on his own?
If yes, then it’s OK to let him out of the house alone, even on long trips. - Do you trust him?
If yes, then let him go. If no, you might have to resolve some trust issues first.
Trust is essential in a relationship. Without it, neither partner will feel truly supported, respected or loved. These things go together.
From personal experience, I’ve trusted my partners without hesitation until I’ve had reason not to. Living in fear of what might be, is not a good way to live. It will destroy your peace of mind and eventually take its toll on your relationship.
As for the success rate of this approach, 2 out of 3 relationships survived the separate holidays (later fell apart for other reasons). 1 relationship went to Hell when I discovered that my partner cheated while away, which I assume is what you fear might happen.
If this is the case, talk with your husband. Let him know if it makes you feel uncomfortable and why.
Besides, when he is away, you will also be left alone. Meaning he has to trust you as well. That you’ll survive on your own, that the relationship is strong enough to withstand a little time apart and that he can trust you.
Q: Has your spouse or partner ever told you they wanted to take separate vacations? What was your reaction?
A: Never had a problem with this.
Maybe because I’m an introvert and like to spend time alone, so going on a vacation without my partner (or, taking a vacation away from them) doesn’t bother me. Same goes if they want to go off on their own somewhere.
However, I know that for some this issue is a difficult one. Often it comes down to a question of trust. Do you trust your partner to stay faithful and not get into trouble without you? If yes, then there is no problem.
Some may think that the relationship is in trouble since their partner would rather go on holiday without them. They could feel left out and abandoned. If this is the case, their self-esteem issues need to be addressed and the travelling partner should make an effort to reassure them, tell them that they are loved and that the relationship is not in jeopardy.
