Sex (Part 2)
Chapter from “Culture Is Not Your Friend: Sex, Death, Drugs & Madness”.
Orgasm
Ah yes, the goalpost. What you assume you must achieve in order for sex to have been a success.
But why stop at only one? Hopefully you will be having and giving your partner multiple orgasms. Although, not everyone is able to orgasm during sex.
An estimated 80% of women have trouble getting an orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone and require clitoral stimulation to come. Some may not be able to experience orgasm at all. But maybe this orgasm chase is too focused on the genitals and that is where we go wrong.
Did you know that some are able to orgasm without genital stimulation?
The main sex organ is the brain, and fantasy is more stimulating than anything else. A lucky few are able to experience energy orgasms, only using their imagination and breathwork to come. Some get off by having their belly button played with, their nipples and even their thumb.
Ask your partner what works for them, and explore your own body to find out what works for you. And do not panic if you are unable to orgasm, or fake one to please your partner. Sex is not an exam and you do not need an orgasm to pass. Share on X
Just have fun playing.
How Often Do People Have Sex?
If you are worried that you are abnormally active or inactive in the sex department, first of all – there is no normal frequency of sex, only an average. And the average depends upon which country you live in.
If you live in Greece, there is an 87% chance that you will be having sex on a weekly basis. If you live in Japan, the likelihood of weekly sex drops to 34%.
Mind you though, high frequency does not equal high satisfaction, as the Greeks are only about 51% satisfied. On the satisfaction scale Nigeria tops the list at 67%, closely followed by Mexico at 63%.
“I’m worried that I might be experiencing premature ejaculation. How long does sex normally last?”
Do you last about 3 minutes? If so, you are average. Marathon sex sessions are not the norm. For most people sex is a sprint. Share on X Even those that last the longest, the Australians ,only manage to keep going for as long as 4 minutes and 2 seconds. That is not too scary, is it?
So instead of worrying about what is normal, have sex as often as you desire, as long as you are able to and your body, health, partner and schedule will allow.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases And Safe Sex
“Oh, I’m safe. I’m on the pill.”
Taking the pill covers you against pregnancy, not venereal disease. The best way to stay safe is to use a condom.
There are more than 20 different STDs. Some viral in nature, some bacterial.
Bacterial infections may be cured using antibiotics, however that does not mean these STDs are harmless. Some infections do not show any obvious symptoms and you may not even know that you have them.
Chlamydia is one of those silent infections that if left untreated in women can cause pelvic inflammatory disease. It is also the most common cause of infertility in women.
The viral STDs are incurable. They can be managed, but will stay with you for life. Genital Herpes, HIV, Hepatitis B and the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) are the more common ones. There are vaccines against Hepatitis B and HPV, which you may want to consider taking.
Even though using a condom will protect you from most diseases, it does not offer complete protection.
The HPV and Herpes virus are transmitted by skin to skin contact and the virus may be lurking in areas that the condom does not cover. Familiarise yourself with the signs and symptoms of these diseases, which may include genital warts (HPV) or blisters and sores in the genital region (Herpes) and avoid sexual contact with partners showing these signs.
Bear in mind though, that some carriers of the virus never show any symptoms, and yet they may still pass these infections on to you. The only way to be 100% safe, is to stick with masturbation and stay celibate, which could get boring.
Just be aware of the risks and find ways to minimize them.
Age Of Consent
“Why do we have an age of consent?
And do all countries have one?”
The age of consent varies around the world, but it typically stays within the 14-18 year range. In some places it is not the age that is the issue, but whether or not you are married, and then consent may not even be an issue.
In cultures where children are seen as their parents property, a child may be given away in marriage. It is estimated that a child marriage takes place every 7 seconds.
The age of consent is meant to protect children from sexual exploitation by adults. A 6-year old does not have the physical, mental and emotional maturity necessary to have sex. They are also unable to fend off unwanted advances and are easily manipulated by an adult.
Unfortunately, the age of consent does not always protect the child, and may even do the exact opposite.
A high school student in North Carolina got arrested for having a nude picture of a minor on his phone – himself. When the police found his naked selfie, they arrested him. To avoid jail time and having to register as a sex offender, he made a plea deal.
This is clearly one instance where the police and judiciary have lost sight of what the law was intended for. It was put in place to protect youth from sexual abuse, not to stop them from exploring their sexuality.
I wonder what will happen if the police in SC one day discover a teenager, under the age of consent, fapping off. Will they haul him off to jail for sexual abuse of a minor? Will they charge him with ‘self abuse’? You know, that is what they called it in the old days.
Circumcision
Masturbation. What we today may euphemistically call self-love was in the 19th century known as self-abuse, and the morally upright/uptight Americans would go to any lengths to dissuade young boys and men from engaging in this nasty little habit. Such as prescribing circumcision.
“In all cases [of masturbation], taken as they come, circumcision is undoubtedly the physician’s closest friend and ally, offering as it does a certain means of alleviation and pronounced benefit …. Those cases in which the glans presents a moist, semi-oily appearance … long thickened foreskin, pliant and giving, large and often tortuous dorsal veins, go to make up a picture that is exceedingly tempting to the surgeon’s scissors. … To obtain the best results one must cut away enough skin and mucous membrane to rather put it on a stretch when erections come later. There must be no play in the skin after the wound has thoroughly healed, but it must fit tightly over the penis, for should there be any play the patient will be found readily to resume his practice, not begrudging the time and extra energy needed to produce the orgasm. It is true, however, that the longer it takes to have an orgasm, the less frequently it will be attempted, and consequently the greater the benefit gained.” – Edgar Spratling, “Masturbation in the adult”, Medical Record 48, 28 September 1895, 442-3
Whatever your thoughts are on circumcision, the original purpose of the practice in the West, outside of the religious Jewish and Muslim communities, has been to control the subject’s sexuality.
Later, other reasons have been cited in order to gain continued support for the practice, such as cleanliness and a lower risk of contracting STDs.
Still the simple fact remains that even the mildest forms are altering the persons sexual function. In the case where children are being circumcised, there is also a human rights issue that needs to be discussed, as the children are unable to consent to the practice.
In situations where the parents claim religious freedom as grounds for being allowed to circumcise their children, these rights are only given to Jews and Muslims who wish to circumcise their male child. This claim to religious freedom is not accepted for those who wish to circumcise their female children.
The practice of female circumcision is outlawed in most Western countries precisely because we recognise that the girls have a right to their own body, their own sexuality and their religious freedom.
Children who have undergone circumcision may not grow up to hold the same beliefs as their parents. And if they do, as adults they could always choose to get circumcised.
Also, when circumcision is performed on a female child, we call it genital mutilation.
“Partial or total removal of the external female genitalia or other injury to the female genital organs for non-medical reasons.”
- WHO
There is thought to be no medical reason for female circumcision, but I am sure that cleanliness and a reduced risk of venereal disease will be experienced here as well.
If you have had most of your genitals removed, the outer and inner labia, the clitoris and have had your hole sewn up, the genital area becomes easier to clean, and your interest in sex will no doubt be greatly reduced, which again reduces the risk of contracting an STD.
No sex, no STD.
And did you know that this practice is largely supported by and carried out by women? The reason they give for continuing this practice is that they want the girls to remain chaste and honourable, and FGM it is believed will keep them from being oversexed and tempted to have sex outside of marriage.
The men in cultures where FGM is practised will often refuse to marry uncut women, which puts the girls future at risk.
Now, we can sit here in the ‘enlightened’ West and claim that those poor souls over there are indoctrinated and do not know any better, and need us to teach them that what they are doing is bad for them. Just as we teach little children not to drink from the toilet bowl.
But the truth is that we are just as indoctrinated as they are, and that we are committing the exact same human rights violations. And if we are to believe our own propaganda, we really should know better.
© Merlyn Gabriel Miller
